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JENNY ECLAIR ON SPRING OPTIMISM

Camberwell comedian Jenny Eclair looks forward to spring with a sense of optimism and a determination to get fit…

It’s coming. Spring is coming. And once again we’ll put our necks out staring up at the sky hoping to see a yellow chink in its dull grey armour.

On a more positive note, I still have the daughter lodging and while she’s a bit heavy on the cereal (and the mayonnaise and the cream cheese and the spinach and the avocadoes and the smoked salmon), she is quite good at getting me down to that gym.

Ladies, if you’re really looking for a fitness incentive, try accidentally picking up the wrong pile of laundry and attempting to get into your daughter’s size 8 briefs. I tell you I was like a pig trapped in an elastic fence. I literally had my knickers in a twist and almost had to be cut out of them.

Personally I only find the gym bearable if I’ve got a decent podcast to listen to. Now I know lots of you will be ahead of the game on this one, and apologies for being a bit slow on the uptake, but a session on the treadmill is much more fun with Serial piping through your headphones.

New research suggests 20 minutes of rigorous walking a day keeps you fit. Good news – it takes me 20 minutes to walk to Blackbird Bakery and back!

Serial is a 12-part investigation into a real life murder and the conviction of a young Muslim teenager back in the 90s. It’s free to download and will leaving you scratching your head over the outcome (not advisable on the cross trainer – Hold On Or You’ll Fall Off is my motto).

But for gymophobics, fret not, new research is suggesting that 20 minutes of rigorous walking a day is enough to keep us all living forever. Well, good news, it takes me exactly 10 minutes to walk from my house to the Blackbird Bakery and exactly 10 minutes to walk back. Bingo! So if you see a plump middle-aged woman waddling up Denmark Hill loaded down with sourdough and sausage rolls, give me a wave. But whatever you do, don’t give me a lift.

Three reasons to be cheerful this spring

1 Lamb, with mint sauce (sorry vegetarians).

2 The East Dulwich Picturehouse opens soon, but if you’re bored of waiting you should check out Whirled Cinema, an independent members’ only cinema in a railway arch in Loughborough Junction.

3 Eric Ravilious opens at Dulwich Picture Gallery on 1 April with over 100 of his beautifully detailed watercolours. Speaking of art, the old man bought me some oil pastels recently. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten into such a mess during an experimental art session that I had to hose myself down. Great fun, but not to be used near a white sofa.

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