Dating can be a minefield. Who’s in charge? Who pays? Should it be love at first sight? London-based dating expert Lydia Davis – co-founder of the dating app Toffee and founder of LYNK Matchmaking – shares her top 5 dating tips for women…
1 Let HIM take charge at the start
It can be a controversial topic, especially in this day and age, but I stand by it as a dating coach. There are a lot of situations where women take the lead in life, but in the dating world, let the men take over at the beginning. That way, you’re giving him chance to make his intentions clear – yes, he does want to take you out. This then sets the tone for organising the date and who’s taking charge – let’s hope he plans something fun! Ultimately if a man wants to see you, he’ll make it happen, so let him.
2 Make an effort – for yourself as well as your date!
Even if it’s just touching up your make-up or putting on some heels, it’ll get you feeling good and in the mood for a date. Studies show that if you’re feeling happy and confident then you’re more likely to be attractive to you date. It also means you won’t be caught off guard like a friend of mine recently – she wasn’t very excited about her date because she was busy with work and feeling stressed. But when they sat down together, she realised she was totally unprepared for him to be such a good match and a mild panic hit. Anxiety on a date is not a good look! This tends to happen if you date a lot and treat it more like a hobby than something worth investing your in time correctly. Hopefully he will have made the effort too!
A quick game is usually a good game, but not in dating. The quicker you get into something the quicker you can fall out of it, so you may not see fireworks on your first or second date, but don’t write him or her off. Some people take a little while to warm up and attraction can grow. If you’re getting on, are having a good time and smile at the end of the date, make sure you have a second date, even if it wasn’t love at first sight.
4 It’s not an interview
Keep your questions causal and topical. Try not to drill down into the details of his or her CV on the first date! If you’re going to date, you’ll have lots of time to find out all the details down the line. Try to keep the conversation balanced, ask a similar amount of questions, and keep it natural and relaxed. If there’s an awkward silence, don’t panic – take a sip of your drink and smile – it does happen and it’s not one to worry about.
5 Say thank you
Hopefully your date will have paid for the first date – if he asked you out, it’s only polite to say thank you. Good manners are important. If you liked your date then it’s a good excuse to get in touch too – a simple ‘thank you’ text. This will give your date a nudge (everyone gets caught up in their own work and social life), so if you did hit it off, they’ll hopefully reply and ask you out again. But remember, leave it up to him to do the asking!
Lydia Davis is hosting a talk, titled Attracting the right person for you… a helping hand in dating, at The Brewers Inn, Wandsworth, on Tuesday 12 March 2019. Tickets are £15. Click here to book.