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‘NEW BATTERSEA’ TO BE TWINNED WITH NEW YORK

In the same week that announced studio apartments in Battersea Power Station are to cost from £800,000 we learn that the south west London neighbourhood will be given an American makeover

As part of Battersea’s £8billion regeneration, the south west London borough is to take on the name of New Battersea. The moniker, which has been decided in a collaboration between the Mayor of London Boris Johnson and the US Ambassador Matthew Barzun, cements British- American ties in the neighbourhood that will see the American Embassy (complete with moat) moving to Vauxhall at the end of 2017.

The new area will be twinned with New York City and our sources suggest it will adopt further habits from our cousins across the pond. In a move set to ruffle feathers among Londoners, Battersea Park Road, York Road, Battersea Bridge and Nine Elms Lane will be fitted with toll booths. Drivers will be charged $1US – to be paid in dollars not stirling – to use the roads. The charges won’t come in to play until 2016, and there are suggestions that residents will get a discount.

Other plans look set to add more glitz to the area, such as a 10ft Hollywood-esque Asda sign being introduced in the supermarket’s car park on Lavender Hill. Manager at the store Avril Tromper says: ‘We hope this will become a bit of a landmark, with people coming far and wide to see the sign and as a result see a dramatic increase in sales’.

While the toll roads might not please residents, news that they will get their very own Independence Day every year, may be more cause for celebration. The public holiday will fall on 1st April every year, the same day as today, which also happens to be April Fools Day….

(NB: Got you! Share your best April Fools jokes with us on our Facebook page.)

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